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My Weaknesses

Each of these are things I have noticed I have a hard time with.

I have two options regarding each:
Option 1: Fix the problem.
Option 2:
Build systems that make it moot, allowing me to only focus on my strengths.

I prefer Option 2.

  • I am not consistent enough; I let my present self change my former self's plan
  • I waste a lot of time in bed
  • I am very slow to respond to messages
  • I do not feel hungry enough and have this false sense of security that everything will be fine and that I will figure things out because I always have
  • I use cheap sources of dopamine
  • I do not pray enough
  • I talk too much/ at length sometimes. I can be more to the point with my responses to questions. I do this because I feel the need to qualify and contextualize all my statements. Probably because I do not trust the other person to understand me fully and I want to make sure I am not misunderstood. A part of me also wants to prevent my time from being wasted by conversing at the pace of the other person's thinking, so I'd rather just dish out all of mine and then check out of the conversation. I don't do this with everyone, with people who think fast I don't find the need to do this and enjoy conversing with them bit by bit. So I'm not sure if this is a weakness or a protectionary mechanism to be honest (this paragraph is an ironic example.)
  • I waste a lot of time planning the work, instead of just doing the work. This really really frustrates me because I am constantly trying to fix this.
  • Many people find me intimidating, some find me arrogant. I've noticed when I'm bold about what I want and confidently say what I think, I face these allegations. I have also noticed: never, not once, has anybody who has done the things I want to do seen these traits of mine as negative. It has always been people whose lives I would never want who say these bad things about me. Sometimes this hurts me, which is a weakness. I always try to remind myself of the countless people I have met who see younger versions of themselves in me, instead of just some brash, arrogant, jackass. I also remind myself of all the people from corners of the world who have come across my content and reached out to express how much it means to them. Lastly, I remind myself that all my friendships have lasted decades; literally every single one. Most people burn bridges with friends from just a few years ago. So frankly, despite feeling judged frequently, I know I'm doing something right.